Drama at the Party
by Chasethepace10
Summary: To celebrate the life of their beloved friend, Brick, Lightning, Dawn and B decide to throw a party. They're unaware though, the obstacles that lay before them and the secrets that threaten their bond.
1. Chapter 1

**I haven't wrote a fan-fiction story in almost 4 years. I generally don't but I felt compelled to write. The themes present in this story, I hope, will relate to you in some fashion. If you've ever come across a book by John Green ( _Looking for Alaska, Paper Towns_ and _the Fault in Our Stars_ ) you might like this. Either way, I hope you will read this and think of it as more than just mere fan-fiction.**

* * *

Parked, I gripped the steering wheel. For some reason, I felt heavier.

"We were always meant to be together." I whispered to myself... or perhaps not.

It was raining. How ironic. Irony used to remind me that there was a God. Nowadays, I'm not sure. What if irony was just random happenstance? How cruel would that be?

After a moment of concentration that honestly, shouldn't have been necessary, I got out of my car. The rain was heavy and all I wore was this camo jacket. No hat, no umbrella, no nothing. I let the rain shower me, the heavy drops beating on my body. Back when I was an aspiring soldier, I used to go on early morning runs and a few times it rained and pretty hard like this. The water pouring down my face reminded me of those runs. Back then, I felt good, alive even. Now, I felt like an inanimate object at the mercy of this weather.

"Brick?"

I looked down and saw Dawn standing right next to me with umbrella in hand. I wonder if I looked as melancholic as her. She smiled but one look into those eyes made it clear that it was disingenuous.

Dawn had her long blonde hair down today, just like she had during that vile reality show her and I competed years ago. She was short, easily the shortest girl during Total Drama. Skinny too. Her eyes were always droopy, a side-effect of her marijuana use. Despite all that, she was beautiful. More beautiful than I cared to admit.

"So how's my aura today?" I asked her. I never took her psychic talk seriously- unlike everyone else- but I decided to humor her today. She was aware of my question's context. Her smile became a tad more genuine.

"It's blue." she said in her childlike voice- which the rest of us oft teased her about.

"Appropriate." I began looking around as if examining my surroundings. "What about the city?"

"The city's aura rarely ever changes."

A nihilistic thought crossed through my head. I've been having a lot of those lately. I looked down at Dawn who looked sullen. I wasn't sure if it was because of me or because of today. Maybe both. I felt sometimes that Dawn was swimming in my emotions, a feeling I disliked. However, right now, it was nice because I didn't have to explain how I felt. She already knew.

We walked into Enchanted, the artsy bar where hipsters hung out and did whatever it is they do. The place was bought my Mr. McGillis, Enchanted's mysterious owner. He quickly turned the once ratty Filipino restaurant into a bar & grill that looked more like an art exhibit. The wood floors were smooth and colored black, the walls were painted white and littered with odd paintings, weird music played on the jukebox and the seating was all lounge furniture.

We began using this bar as our base of operations back in our freshman year of university. We had formed a study group that consisted of myself, Dawn, B, Lightning and Lightning's girlfriend at the time, Victoria. Needless to say, we were a quirky bunch. In fact, the only reason such clashing personalities came together was from our shared time spent on Total Drama and the ever so gorgeous, funny and adventurous Victoria.

After days of arguing where to study, we eventually settled with Enchanted when we met Ella, a Total Drama competitor from season 5. She said Mr. McGillis would let us study there for the sole fact that we too were Total Drama contestants. He wanted whatever publicity we could give him and we wanted to study at a bar for bragging rights.

Other than Dawn, it took me and the others a while to like this bar and for the bar to like us. I remember back in the day always feeling like the 'army guy' whenever I set foot in this bar. Even back then those 'aspiring soldier' days were behind me but I still felt labeled. Now? I'm apart of this bar's community and I couldn't imagine us drinking anywhere else.

Dawn and I hung our coats on the fancy coat rack near the door and walked towards our usual booth, the one placed right in the middle of the bar. B sat in silence with drink already in hand. B looked exactly like Dawn- expression-wise. However, as soon as he spotted us, he smiled with excitement and waved. He stood up and embraced us as if he hadn't seen us in years even though he was my roommate and Dawn lived right at the end of the hallway. His hugs were so tight that I was pretty sure he could kill someone. He was a big guy after all. To me, he kinda looked like Rick Ross with a lighter skin pigment.

Soon enough, Lightning showed up. Now usually, he would burst in with a 'sha-something' and everyone would be ecstatic to see him. Other than the latter, today was not one of those days. He wasn't his charismatic and energetic self. He hid it well though.

Lightning had everything I envied: he was tall, confident, muscular, handsome, athletic... I mean the only thing I didn't envy about him was the white hair he retained from being struck by lightning- again, irony.

We all stood up and hugged him. I was worried of hugging him too hard thinking that he might burst into tears if I did. We all sat down. I sat next to Dawn and Lightning sat next to B. It was a seating arrangement we all silently agreed upon years ago.

"Well if it isn't my favorite customers in the whole world!" Ella said in her usual sweet tone.

Despite only being 18 at the time, Mr. McGillis gave her a job at the bar. At first, she was a cook and wasn't allowed to touch the alcohol but as soon as she turned 21, she became a waitress and if need be, a bartender. I'm certain that McGillis wanted to make use of her looks. She dressed like Snow White and had the beauty to match but you didn't have to have x-ray vision to know she had a rockin' body beneath those princess-like outfits.

I couldn't imagine working the same job for eight years but Ella seemed to enjoy every minute of it. An enjoyment I used to take when I trained. I was jealous of her. She found her passion and I lost mine.

"Here are your menus!" Ella said- er- sang and handed them to us in her usual upbeat and motherly manner. "Do you four want the usual?" she giggled every time she said that.

"Oh you know what Lightning likes." he said, trying to sound flirtatious when in fact, he sounded like he was trying too hard.

"Wonderful!" Ella said and scurried off.

When she was out of earshot we sat there waiting for Lightning's usual quip.

"Oh yeah." he noticed us staring. "That girl give Lightning the creeps."

We all laughed but I knew as soon as we stopped, we would become sad and quiet.

When the laughter died, I immediately posed a question: "So did anyone watch Total Drama last night?" as soon as I said, I felt stupid. Neither of us watched Total Drama. It was just a desperate, impulsive attempt to act like today wasn't today.

"Lightning doesn't care about Total Drama." he said and didn't bother to hide his sadness like he did with Ella.

B frowned and shook his head. He empathized. We all did.

I tried to come up with something to say, something that would lighten the mood. I wasn't good at thinking on my feet so it took a moment of everyone else being down in the dumps for me to propose this: "Hey after this, you should all hang out at the apartment. B and I finally finished my rap project. We could have ourselves a small listening party. Maybe invite a few people."

I looked over to B who nodded proudly. He and I have been working on my mixtape ever since the beginning of this year. Beardo, the Reggie Watts-looking guy who, like Ella, competed in season 5, made all the beats. B mixed and mastered everything and I of course, rapped.

Any of mention of me rapping always compelled Dawn to say something along the lines of me trying desperately to find an image after an existential crisis shed my army one. She always said it in a way that didn't seem like she was trying to mock me but she repeated it so often that I began to reconsider. She didn't do it today which actually bummed me out this time.

"Here's your drinks!"

Ella handed us our usuals: a beer for Lightning and I, a rum and coke for B and a gin and tonic for Dawn. She then grabbed a notepad from the pocket of her pink apron ready to take our order.

I looked down at our menus and realized that the four of us hadn't even touched them.

"Sorry Ella." I chuckled with embarrassment. "Could you give us another minute to think?"

"Not at all, Brick! Take as much time as you need! I'll be back shortly!" she sang that last sentence.

I looked at Lightning again. "So what do you say?"

After taking a sip of his beer, he set it back down and stared at it.

"He doesn't want to but he feels compelled to in order-"

"Yes, Dawn I get it." I cut her off.

"Lightning will tell you after the visit."

I knew what that really meant and I frowned, defeated. I glanced over at B who, like lightning, looked down at his drink, lost in thought.

Dawn put her hand gently on my thigh. We didn't have to look at each other to know how the other one felt. Dawn usually swam in my emotions. This time however, she was floating in them looking up at nothing.

As I feared, our night became silent one. While everyone around us was happy and lively, we sat in our little booth in the middle of it feeling anything but. It was like this every time this day rolled around the corner.

The only words we exchanged the rest of night were towards Ella. We sat in silence, ate in silence and later, we would grieve in silence because four years ago on this day, we lost Victoria. The gal that brought us four together, Lightning's fiance... and the girl I've loved since the day I met her.

By the end of the night, I briefly glanced at the TV. I couldn't hear anything but the subtitles were on. "Welcome back to another season of Total Drama!" said Topher, another season 5 contestant who replaced Chris McLean some time ago. "This season, we have an all-new cast! There's going to pain, betrayal and-"

"Let's get the out of here." I said.

* * *

 **If you've made it this far, I hope I've written an interesting enough opening that you'll continue on this journey with me. Thank you for your time and I will do my best not to disappoint you.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I feel the need to be honest: fan fiction receives a lot of criticism. Criticism that I feel is deserved. The reason I'm writing one is because for the past five years, I've been unable to write anything without later discarding it. Writing this particular work of fan fiction has afforded me many luxuries and I hope that by the end of this story I will regain the confidence to write an original work. I also wanted to mention that I do not look down on those who write and enjoy fan fiction. Life is short and if you enjoy it and you're not receiving benefits from somebody else's work, then go for it.**

* * *

Out of the whole group, Victoria had been the one I was closest too. Sometimes, I felt that her and I were closer than her and Lightning. However, it wasn't like that in the beginning. When we first got the group together, she made it her mission to get to know us on a personal level. Since she began with B and Dawn, I was certain back then that she hated me. During our first few weeks as a study group, she would only converse with them- and Lightning obviously. Whenever I tried to say anything to her, she ignored me. It didn't bother me at all though. I had other things on my mind.

My dreams of becoming soldier dissipated five months before my high school graduation. Like most teenagers, I felt invincible, excited to graduate and live my dream: to serve my country. However, those feelings disappeared and I vividly remember the day they did: I was watching Captain America: The First Avenger while in my room treating myself to some potato chips. At the end of movie, Cap sacrificed himself to save his country and the people he cared about. When the credits rolled, it made me wonder if I would do the same. Then it happened: I had a brief anxiety attack. I couldn't stop thinking about dying, about my faith in God, about an afterlife and what it would be like... if there was one. I was scared out of my mind and even at 25- almost 26- it still freaks me out. So what did I do? I gave up on being a soldier. I didn't want to die. Looking back, I think I did die, just a little anyway. I gave up on my dream, a dream that defined me for so long that when I lost it, I lost myself too. Then Victoria happened.

Victoria didn't solve any of my problems, how could she? That girl was an emotional train wreck herself. However, what she did give me was her ears... and her heart. I remember her approaching me after our usual study session. She asked me to hang out with her for a bit. We went on walk around campus and she asked me a ton of personal questions. It took me a while to open up to her but I did eventually. Soon enough, her and I became best friends. Our bond was so close that even Lightning, the guy who was so sure that no woman could ever resist him, began to worry.

"You should tell him."

I felt as if I had woken up. I turned to Dawn who was sitting in the passenger seat just staring blankly at the road in front of us.

"You shouldn't zone out like that."

"Sorry." I said. After a few seconds, I remembered her words. "Wait- tell who what?"

"Lightning and how you went behind his back and kissed Victoria."

My eyes widened. "How did you-?"

"If you're asking me how I know, it's your aura. It's like it's shouting it out."

I hated Dawn the most. Don't get me wrong, I loved her like a sister, an annoying sister that kept getting into your business. She didn't own a car so I had to drive her everywhere which also got on my nerves. However, I could live with all that. No, what frustrated me the most about her was this whole psychic shtick. If she was psychic, if that truly was a thing, I wish she respected me enough to leave my thoughts and feelings alone. Her bluntness was just salt in the wound.

"Dawn- look, you're right- and I promise I'll tell him one day but not right now. Especially not today" I sighed deeply. "I mean c'mon, telling your best friend that you've loved his girlfriend the entire time they've been together? That you and said girlfriend kissed and slept in the same bed the night before he proposed to her? Telling him all that on the day she died? No way."

"It doesn't matter what day you ultimately choose to tell him, Brick." she countered. "He'll hate you for it regardless."

* * *

The once heavy rain had died down to a light drizzle. Lightning and B were already there, staring at her tombstone with a bouquet of roses already placed in front of it. B had parked his car on the grass so that the light coming from his headlights would shine on us and allow us to see.

I walked up behind Lightning and placed my hand on his shoulder. He put his hand on mine. I could tell from how tightly he squeezed it, the pain of losing her was as fresh as it was four years ago. Dawn and I's brief conversation began swirling in my head and I tried to block it out with memories, memories of the five of us and all the studying we did, all the parties we went, the adventures and even the bad times.

The four of us had a long moment of silence. Dawn was the only one left who still had tears to give. The rest of us had shed all the tears we could. We were now just hollow shells with nothing left to give.

"Um, excuse me?" a nervous voice said.

We all turned around. I'm pretty sure I was the only one who knew the guy who had gotten our attention: Shawn, Total Drama's season 5 finalist. I'm not sure if he won though because by that time, I had given up on the show.

He breathed a sigh of relief and wiped his forehead. "Phew! For a minute there I thought you guys were- um... never mind." he scratched the back of his head and looked embarrassed.

Shawn had long brown hair that looked dry and frizzy. He no longer sported the outfit he wore during his tenure on Total Drama. His new outfit consisted of cargo pants, a camo jacket that was thicker than mine and a black beanie to replace his green one. The guy looked as if he never slept judging from the bags under his eyes and the little hairs sprouting from his face. He seemed to have a permanent expression of worry as well.

"You think Lightning looked like what?" he asked. From the tone of his voice, he sounded upset. I took a step towards him just in case.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-"

"He thought we were zombies. He's dedicated his life to the idea that the undead will one day rise."

He was taken aback and even took a step backward "How did you-"

"Sorry, she's weird like that." I told him using an apologetic tone.

B smirked.

"If you's afraid of zombies, why are you in a cemetery?"

Before he could open his mouth to speak, Dawn answered for him. "He comes here once in a while hoping that a zombie will attack him. He feels guilty because his obsession ruined his relationship with the only woman he ever loved."

Shawn's jaw dropped and he couldn't muster a single word, just noises that conveyed his shock.

"Again, sorry."

I looked to Lightning to see if he was still upset which he wasn't. In fact, he looked sad again but this time, it wasn't about Victoria. I could tell from the way Lightning stared at Shawn that he felt pity for the zombie conspiracy nut. Maybe he empathized with Shawn after hearing what Dawn had to say about him.

Lightning took a step forward. Shawn took another step back, afraid of what he was going to do.

"Hey zombie girl, Lightning's pals are having a party tonight at their apartment. You should swing by, maybe bring your girlfriend. Lightning don't discriminate."

"Um..." Shawn seemed put off that Lightning mistook him for a girl.

"So what do you say?"

Shawn scratched his temple with his index finger. "I don't know..."

"You don't think Lightning can throw a party?" he said, sounding confrontational. I smiled, it was a trick Lightning always used to get socially awkward people to attend parties- and it worked every time.

"No I didn't say that-" Shawn tried to explain.

"Good." Lightning cut him off and draped his arm around him. "My boy B over there is gonna hook you up with the coordinates and all the other details." Lightning winked at me and I shook my head with a grin on my face.

* * *

Now that we were having a party we stopped at McDonald's to figure out what we needed and who to invite. B and I's apartment was fairly spacious and it was a concrete building so noise wasn't going to be too much of an issue.

I already knew that B and Lightning were going to invite the most people. With B, I wasn't too worried about who he'd invite. We've had parties at our apartment before which acquainted me with most of the people I knew he was going to invite. I knew Beardo was going to be there for sure so I told B to tell Beardo not to bring his DJ equipment. We've never had a single noise complaint and I wasn't going to tarnish that record ever. With Lightning, I was afraid of how many people he'd invite. Although he couldn't ring in the numbers he used to back in university, I'd be a fool to underestimate his popularity. With Dawn, I knew the only person she would invite was Ella which was a relief to me. I liked Ella and I've toyed for year the idea of possibly going out with her.

While they texted, I decided to order something really quick. I walked up to the counter staring at the menu. No one came to greet me, even when I finally decided to just get an ice cream cone. Eventually, someone did and to my surprise it was Max, the personification of evil (self-proclaimed). Other than the McDonald's uniform, he looked exactly as he had before during his Total Drama run. His skin still looked as if it were gray and he still had the purple- yes purple- bowl haircut.

"You're Max aren't you?" I asked.

"Ah..." he said and looked proud. "Once again, my evil reputation has proceeded me." he took a bow.

"Uh sure... can I just get an ice cream cone."

"Yes!" he said and threw his fist up in the air which made me raise a brow. He then caught himself and pretended to act sweet. "I mean- would you like anything else kind sir?"

"Uh... no thanks." I swiped my card before he could give me my total.

He made the cone and with a sinister look on his face. I wasn't sure if that was a cause for concern or if I should chalk it up as one of the many personality quirks God had given the cast of Total Drama season 5.

"Here you go." he said as if up to no good.

I took the cone with caution. I walked back to our booth to see who was on the list.

"Lightning invited a few people." he said trying to sound modest while he looked pleased with himself.

I took a big bite of ice cream while B raised his thumb.

"Ella said she'll come around ten or so."

"You know, this party was a good idea, Brick." Lightning said to me while I took a bite of the actual cone. "Lightning think it's high time we should throw a party for Victoria."

"I know that's how she'd want us to honor her memory: by being together and having fun." Dawn said.

B nodded in agreement.

"What about you soldier? What you-" he paused.

When Lightning's eyes shifted towards me, they widened. Taken aback by his sudden reaction, I turned to the other two who gave me the same look. I touched my face and then looked at my hands. They were purple. I dropped what was left of my ice cream on the floor and stood up. I began to freak out and then a thought struck me. My gaze slowly went up to the front counter where Max stared at me, evil look and all. Then, everything became engulfed in darkness.

* * *

 **I will be taking my time with this story. The quality of writing is more important to me than anything else. I still, however, intend to update frequently.**


	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter took me forever to write. My eyes hurt. However, I love the story I'm writing and I hope to start an original work soon. For now, this is good enough for me. Now it's time for me to sleep even though the sun has already risen.**

* * *

Victoria appeared before me. Everything was obscure except for her. She looked exactly how she did that night on her bed. That night, we had plenty of alcohol in our system and although I was always against it, I let her drive us back to her place. She collapsed onto her bed while I stood there awkwardly- and drunk. She asked if I wanted to lay down. I should have declined but everything I drank that night eroded my mental strength and had shown me loopholes in my moral code. I laid right next to her. Whatever it is we talked about, it didn't matter. What mattered was the context of the situation. That night, in a moment of weakness and selfishness, we kissed. After that, I fell asleep.

"Am I dead?" I asked her.

"You're so obsessed with death." she said. Although she mouthed the words, what came out sounded like a hazy recording.

"I'm just so scared of what happens after this..."

"Don't be afraid to die... and don't be afraid to live. Stop being afraid."

* * *

The first thing I saw when my eyes opened was toilet water mixed with what I assumed was my vomit. Instantly feeling woozy, I groaned and would've fallen onto the floor if not for the support of my friends. We were all in the McDonald's bathroom which was only meant to serve one person at a time.

"Brick?" Dawn said with desperation in her tone.

"What happened?" I asked. My voice perfectly matching how sick I felt.

I tried to stand up which worried them but I managed to get up on my feet. I still had my arm around B who helped me stay standing up.

"Oh thank goodness!" I heard Max's voice behind me.

I turned to him with B's help. Max looked genuinely relieved. He put one hand on his chest and the other on the bathroom wall. He bowed his head and breathed a sigh of relief. Lightning on the other hand, looked very upset. In quick fashion, he closed whatever distance there was between him and Max and grabbed the much shorter man by his throat and slammed him against the wall.

"Lightning, no!" Dawn wrapped her arms around his waist and tried to pull him off but to no surprise, she was unsuccessful. In fact, Lightning shrugged it off as if it hadn't happened.

Max instinctively held onto Lightning's wrists. His look of relief changed into that of fear. His eyes closed and his turned his head the other way. It was as if Lightning merely looking at him caused him pain.

"Alright short, creepy guy, what did you do to Brick? What was in that ice cream?"

He opened his eyes and looked at Lightning, his fear of being physically hurt rose by the second.

"It wasn't the ice cream, it was the cone! I-I created it."

"Why were you trying to kill Brick?" he tightened his grip.

"The cone wasn't going to kill him! It was just supposed to make him hallucinate- but in a good way! I'm inventing a new drug to sell! No murder intended!"

"You're lying." he said, his patience dwindling. "Lightning ain't about snitching but you almost killed Brick! Lightning doesn't know if he should call the police or beat you up himself!"

"Lightning-" I mustered to say.

Lightning turned to me so quick that I thought his neck might snap.

"Let him go."

Back in the day, he would've argued with me but we were older now, more mature. He wasn't the Lightning who could be goaded into a fight by a simple insult. He was smarter and a lot less temperamental thanks to our influence. Sure enough, he slowly loosened his grip on Max's neck before completely letting go of it. He took a step back while Max fell onto his knees, coughing and clutching his throat. We waited until he was done. He then looked up at us and cautiously stood back up.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have used you as a guinea pig." he apologized. He then looked down at the floor, his expression turned into one of frustration. "I guess it's back to the drawing board." he muttered to himself.

"Wait- you're not off the hook." Dawn took a step forward. "I didn't want my friend here to hurt you but that doesn't mean we're just going to ignore what you did!"

"Wait-" Max went back down on his knees and raised his hands up. "You don't understand! My wife... my wife makes me do all this!"

"Your wife?" Lightning's tone was a mix of confusion and skepticism.

"Look, I recognize you four. You were all on Total Drama, the season before me. I was in season 5. There was this girl, Scarlett, my wife... she was evil! She almost destroyed the island with me and the other contestants! It was all over TV!"

I didn't have the heart to tell him that that particular moment was edited out by the time they finished filming. I could still remember Chris, wearing the smile that hid the despicable person beneath, explaining to the viewer that Max and Scarlett had been disqualified for reasons that he would not disclose. The truth survived through rumors, rumors that, right now, had just been given validation.

"And you married her?" Dawn said with an eyebrow raised.

"She was the only attractive woman who wanted anything from me!"

"What does this have to do with you trying to kill Brick?" Lightning asked.

Max began to shed tears. His pitiful looked garnered exactly that from me: pity. "She makes me do things like this. Making me create her drugs- testing and selling them-" he paused for a moment to sob- "All I wanted was to run a daycare! I don't want to be evil anymore! I don't want to work here! You don't know what it's like!"

Max held his face which muffled the sound of his crying. Though Lightning didn't care, Dawn did. She knelt down next to Max and placed her hand on his shoulder. The guy nearly killed me which honestly, gave me the right not to care about his troubles. I did, however, mostly because of Dawn. If she was willing to give Max any sort of comfort, his story had to be true in some way. I'll never believe that she's psychic but I did trust her instincts, especially when it pertained to others.

"We're having a party. I want you to come."

"What?" Lightning said incredulously.

Though I couldn't see him, I could tell that B had the same look of disbelief.

Max looked up at me. His teary eyes and pained expression made him look even more pitiful.

"I'm feeling kind of sick right now but I definitely want to talk to you."

"About what?" he said, sniveling.

"Your life."

* * *

By the time we made it to the apartments, I was able to walk on my own. I still felt weak so Dawn drove. Before we left, I had gotten an earful from Lightning. I didn't blame him for doing so. Inviting your would-be killer to your party because you felt bad for him was a horrid idea but Max needed a friend, someone to talk to. He needed to be forgiven for his mistakes, be given support and be pointed towards the right direction. However, I acknowledged that even then, it wasn't a good reason to invite him. Lightning relented eventually, promising that Max would get a beating if he so much as thought about crossing the line.

The elevator ride was tense. Lightning wasn't happy at all. Though it upset me to upset him, it was still good to know that his anger stemmed from his genuine love for all of us. However, the smile on my face faded and no one but Dawn noticed. I couldn't keep Victoria and I's bed scene a secret for much longer. For some reason, as if it were the work of a greater force, everything seemed to be pushing me into telling him- and tonight no less. First it was Dawn, then the hallucination and now, the idea presented itself whenever it pleased- which was frequently.

"Let's stop at my place." Dawn said to me. "I can make you some tea, maybe you'll feel better by the time the party starts."

"B and Lightning will do the setup. You rest before then. Gotta get ready for that talk, you know? Don't know if it's going to be your last." Lightning's passive aggressiveness made me experience jamais vu. His change over the years had been drastic yet subtle. Whenever he didn't act like the overly-confident and impulsive person he used to be, it caught me by surprise even though by now, it shouldn't have.

Dawn and I walked over to her apartment located near to the elevators. The smell of weed and incense were ever present whenever I walked into her apartment. Dawn's place was a one-bedroom but true to her quirky nature, the bedroom was turned into a large closet while she herself slept in the living room. Taking off our shoes, we walked into said living room which was only slightly bigger than my own room. The living room consisted of only a futon with a weirdly designed blanket she knitted herself and a round coffee table littered with everything one would think Dawn was into. The 'kitchen' was merely an extension of the living room. To sum it up, her apartment was a glorified hotel room.

I laid down on her futon and sprawled out while she went into the kitchen to make me some tea. I looked up at the ceiling feeling blank which I preferred over feeling ill. After about five minutes, she entered my line of vision with cup of tea in hand. She sat down on the edge and handed me the cup.

I looked at Dawn, her expression devoid of emotion. It wasn't fair. She always knew how I felt but never vice versa.

"Why are you letting Max come to the party?" she asked, worried.

"Why don't you read my aura and find out." I said sarcastically, taking a sip.

"You don't like it when I do so I'm not going to." she replied nonchalantly.

"Don't tell me you just found that out today."

She smiled.

After a brief pause I explained my reasoning: "I don't know, I felt bad for him. He made a mistake but he's only going to continue making mistakes if someone doesn't do something about it. He's not a bad guy- I don't think. He's just an idiot."

"I didn't watch season 5 so I wouldn't know." I handed her the cup and she placed it on top of her already cluttered coffee table. "I think you feel that helping Max will somehow help you but you're wrong. You're living vicariously through another. Helping Max is admirable, but solving someone else's problems does nothing to solve your own."

I frowned.

She giggled and placed her hand on my chest. "Relax. Just tell him. If he truly loves you then he'll forgive you. If not, then at least you'll be free from this curse."

"Curse?" I asked, confused.

"Keeping a secret that you feel should not be hidden places a great burden on one's soul. Slowly, that secret will eat away at your psyche. These secrets, the more you accumulate, will eventually drain you of you."

"That does sound like a curse." I said and laughed nervously, scratching the back of my head. I didn't know what to make of that. Her words were no doubt wise and something I should take into consideration. However, when it came to philosophical matters, I needed time and space to mull it over.

"With that said- I have something to tell you."

I raised an eyebrow. "Go on."

She took a deep breath. Whatever she had to say must have been important. Like Lightning, Dawn was rather blunt about the things she said. Though she had a great deal of empathy and sensitivity, she would nonetheless speak her mind which, more often than not, made people feel uncomfortable.

"You're afraid of telling Lightning the truth because you know it might ruin your friendship with him. I know you'll tell him eventually but maybe it would help if you saw someone do the same."

"What do you mean?"

"Telling someone the truth, a truth that could tear you two apart is no small task. It takes courage to do that. Courage and knowing that you have to accept whatever happens once the truth becomes known." she inched closer to me. "I'm going to tell you my own personal secret in the hopes that it will give you the courage to do the same." she took another deep breath. "I'm moving to Colorado in two months. I'm going to live with my boyfriend."

I blinked hard. "Wait- you've been dating someone?"

"For two years."

I felt trapped in state of mental paralysis, like my brain couldn't process the idea of losing both Lightning and Dawn. I felt like everything I held dear was slipping away. My dreams, my faith, the woman I loved, my best friends, our group- I was losing everything and everyone. I didn't know what felt worse: the feeling of being alone or the idea of always being alone. Just then, I felt my age. Though still young, the shining days of my youth were gone. All the journeys had been ventured, all the jokes had been laughed at, all the good times had become memories... We were all fated to be alone. I felt like crying.

* * *

 **Not an easy chapter to write. I've been dealing with a lot things lately, asking myself some big questions about life and death. Do not despair though, there will be more to this narrative than just these heavy themes. I don't know when I'll post the next chapter. I've been writing a lot as of late and it's been taking it's toll on me.**


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